1. I’ve already gotten ranty about this on Facebook and twitter, but I really don’t understand all the selling of things on Facebook. Here’s the deal. I’m okay with my nails only getting fabulous once a month if I have time to resurrect my favorite bottle of OPI. I get sweaty and itchy if I own more than a handful of monogrammed things. My house smells fine. No one can convince me that wrapping something around my waist is going to diminish fat cells because, well, science. I’ll make a special dispensation if you’re peddling something truly interesting, like a taxidermy snake collection, or crystal balls, or good jewelry, or cookies, or glitter pills (thanks Kristi).
2. I don’t understand older people who frown grumpily at a giggling child, but have dogs who wear bows and monogrammed vests. I blame this situation on several things; constipation, isolation, and over-monogrammation (which neatly circles back to Facebook).
3. Jane’s recent mastery of huge words. We were in Michael’s, she’d managed to amass a bouquet of glittering red holly, was wearing a pink elf hat, grinned at me and said, “This store is spectacular.” That moment was spectacular.
4. When you ask for cucumbers on your sandwich at Subway and you get four thin pieces of cucumber flavored paper masquerading as cucumbers.
5. Turn signals that sound like cartoon bubbles.
6. Self starter fire logs that don’t ever catch fire, but just smolder in a blackened lump and mock me.
7. Raisins.
8. The Carpenters.
9. Why “The Way We Were” is considered a romance. It’s sad. And a cautionary tale at best.
10. The white vs. colored lights Christmas tree conundrum. This year I just straddled the fence and did both. That’s right. White and color lights are all up in our tree. My rebellious spirit knows no bounds.
